Smelly Office

One day I had to go to a site in Stafford, to an old historic looking building, it had a large hall entrance and was clearly someone’s home which has been turned into an office. I was met in the hallway by the one of the admin staff and directed to work in room with about 4 women in it. The start of my day was fine, I sat in the corner of the room getting on with the installation of some software.

Off to lunch

Lunchtime came and I went down the road to the local Greggs. I grabbed a sausage roll and a Mexican roll. I was feeling very hungry today, not having any breakfast. Today was a beautiful day, it hot and sunny, being in the UK, I wanted to make the most of it. I had my lunch on a bench in a little park nearby. It as delicious and so nice to sit and relax for a bit. After my lunch, I headed back into the office and sat back down in my chair and continued on with my installation.


Soon I realised that the place really did stink, I hadn’t noticed it in the morning but after returning from lunch it was such a strong smell, the whole place smelt of it. It was poo had been stuffed up my nose and was wafting through the air even with the windows open the place stunk.

Looking around at the members of staff, giving them a dirty look, thinking to myself “oh Jesus Christ, someone stinks in here”. Looking at the girls in the office I couldn’t believe they were so smelly. After completing the installation of the software, I had one other job to do in one of the other rooms and the smell just got worse so I concluded the whole place must be over an exposed sewer pipe or everyone in the office had got some really bad bowel problems.

In this room I only had to set up a print server which I got down on my knees, working in a corner of the room, removing the old print server and replacing it with a new one. I had two admin staff working right behind me and the smell get so strong I was almost gagging. I set up the print server as fast as I could, using one of there machines to configure it and ran around the offices setting up the new printer on each persons machine.

After setting up the printer on each persons machine, I got my paperwork filled in and signed by the customer, picked up the payment and was out of there like a shot. I got outside and breathed some nice fresh, clean air. I jumped in my car and thought I’m not going back there again stinky people.

At that point I noticed I could still smell the disgusting fragrance in the air, I started to smell myself, my armpits, my arms, anywhere my most could reach and then I looked down…, on the bottom of my shoes, in the arch of the heel and squishing out to the side was a massive dog turd, This thing was almost pulsating, it was and still is the most disgusting dog turd I have ever seen.

It started to occur to me that everyone in those offices must have thought I was the smelliest engineer they had ever come across and when I was on my knees sorting the print server out those two admin staff would have seen the massive dog turd and didn’t say a word. Not only that I then wondered if I had sat on it when I was on my knees and have I now sat and rubbed it in to my car seat.

I will never forget that day, so embarrassed and I never went back to that site.